Monday. Day off. But, no rest for the weary.
Another phone interview for a search committee tonight. A very exciting church, a position I think I would love. I need to prepare today – reread their profile, their demographics, and my essay responses. Look through their web site and try to know them well. And I am so tired of doing this, the third time in two months, not to mention the one I did last summer (that makes 4 phone interviews). All total I have entered seven searches in the last year, two have completed their search and I did not get or take the position, but I have five to go. Discernment is wearing me out.
Yesterday, in my sermon, I spoke about the Psalms and Walter Bruggerman’s work breaking the Psalms into categories of “Orientation,” “Disorientation,” and “Reorientation.” By this he means the way the psalms speak about the psalmists experience of God:
- Orientation = when God is known and the psalmist is confident in God’s presence.
- Disorientation = where is God? A lament, a place of darkness, a fear of being abandoned.
- Reorientation = having come through the state of disorientation, knowing God once again in a new way – transformed.
I am in a state of Disorientation. My heart sings Taize: O, Lord hear my prayer, O, Lord hear my prayer, when I call answer me. O, Lord hear my prayer, O, Lord hear my prayer, come and listen to me….(which is also Psalm 27).
My prayer on this Monday morning is for clarity, to have a direction, and the means to live into it with out undue burden on my family.