Disorientation: A Jobian State

Disorientation, a state of confusion. A place of darkness. A sense of being lost. Where is God? I move through my life these days like Job, I am in a jobian place. I proclaim to the people the Good News, but I wonder where it is in my own life? I really trust that God is here with me in this muddle. But I just wish I were not so lost.

Some stretches of life are like this. We all go through them. Mine has lasted the better part of four years, each year getting slightly more intense. Job. Small church. Family stuff. Marriage stuff. All aspects of my life are affected right now.

I need to make a change, and despite my best efforts, even that seems impossible. The tires of my soul are stuck in the snow. It doesn’t help to accelerate. It doesn’t help to get out and push. I’m not even sure it will help to dig my way out.

I think I have to wait. Wait for the spring thaw. Wait for the summer dryness. Wait until this season passes.

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About Terri C Pilarski

I am an Episcopal priest serving a delightfully progressive, interesting, creative congregation. I have been married more than half my life to the same man. We have two grown children, plus two dogs and two cats, although the number of four legged household members changes from time to time. I love to garden, knit, read, and play on Facebook or with my blog. I have been a practitioner of daily meditation since I was nineteen. I practice yoga five days a week and walk every where I am able too.
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2 Responses to Disorientation: A Jobian State

  1. Songbird says:

    (((mompriest)))How did the phone interview go?

  2. mompriest says:

    phone interview went very well actually. but it appears there may be some behind the scenes issues, waiting to speak with someone on diocesan level to learn more…just one of those days…thanks…

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