- I have members of church search committee coming for a site visit this Sat. and Sun.
- I have to make flight reservations for my family and I to visit another church and meet the vestry for a second search process.
- And I anticipate a phone call from a third search committee regarding a site visit.
- I have a phone interview with a fourth search church search committee late Thursday afternoon.
- I have to write a sermon for Sunday.
- I have to finish the paper work for CREDO, a church sponsored 8 day retreat/conference for priests to review their lives: spiritually, financially, vocationally, holistically….
- I leave for CREDO next Monday.
Good news. I was feeling tremendous anxiety about all this. But now I don’t. I just want to find a way to be still enough to listen deeply to the Spirit and trust that God is leading me where I need to be.
I know that times of transformation come with great struggle. Murray Stein, a Jungian analyst wrote a book about the great transformations that occur in our lives, generally beginning around our mid thirties or early forties, and lasting nearly a decade. He used the image of a butterfly and the transition from caterpillar to cocoon, to butterfly – chrysallis. These days are the cocoon stages where great work is taking place on a deep, interior level. One cannot be certain of the exact outcome, only that when the work is done, a major transformation takes place in the human.
A transformation of being, body, mind and soul. A new person is born, even as the old person remains. It is a resurrection image: Jesus in his new life still carried the marks of the crucifixion. He was scarred yet whole, better, more fully himself.
These last four years have been very difficult for me. I don’t think the challenges are going to end anytime soon. But I do suspect something transformational is going on….