Adrenal fatigue is the exhaustion that comes from holding words inside, unspoken, until the words end up punching me in the mouth from the inside out….
It took me a long time to learn how to speak up and let the words out. My health at the moment is indicative of what can happen when one is forced to keep one’s words to ones self. No doubt holding silence was a wise strategy at the time. But it comes with a price.
I love Jan’s imagery in this poem, learning to speak for the first time, or learning how to speak again after a forced silence. The process of learning to speak is about awakening one’s tongue, seasoning it with rich flavors, teaching it to fly.
The landscape of my inner self this morning is one learning to speak again after the strain of being devoiced and forced into silence. No doubt I accepted the forced silence as a strategy of survival. It had to be. But the consequences were severe.
Now I am relearning. Seasoning my tongue, my life, with rich flavors. Opening my life and loosening my spirit, and letting it fly.
The paradox is that in letting it fly I am also relearning how to be at peace, to fully relax, and truly rest.
This can only come because there is also trust. One cannot rest and find peace, restore and relax, when one is guarded, when adrenalin is high, when fear wraps around one like a cloud.
The landscape of my inner life is learning to trust again, which is fueled by hope and enables rest.