Friday Five: Firsts

Marybeth, over the RevGals, posts a Friday Five about Firsts. In part it is a reminder that the RevGal’s blog is moving to a new site, from Blogger to WordPress. But also, there are other first’s to consider:

1. Your first “place” – whether it was an apartment, dorm room, or home with a new spouse, the first place where you really felt like a grown-up: I graduated from high school a year early and headed off to college just about this same time of year when I was 17. Oh I felt so ready to be on my own. I lived in a two-person dorm room and shared a bathroom with another pair of women. The four of us managed well enough. I remember my room was orange. It was 1974. The next year two girlfriend’s and I rented a house near campus. It was a typical run-down, ignored by the owner, college house.  The furnace was old and  burned oil during the time when oil was very pricey and hard to come by. We were cold a lot. BUT we were truly on our own and making due well enough.

2. Your first time away from home. Construe this any way you want. College? Girl Scout Camp? Study Abroad?: I spent two weeks at girl scout camp when I was twelve. It was fabulous. I remember how I admired my camp counselor who was a college student at Marquette University in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She was smart and kind and I think I kind of wanted to be like her when I grew up.

3. Your first job in your field of endeavor (so, not babysitting, unless you are A Professional Babysitter today): My first real field of endeavor was lighting design for dance for a small dance theater in Chicago called MoMing
. I acquired a special major from Columbia College in Chicago which I called “Technical Direction for Dance.” I was essentially a dance major and took lots of dance classes, but instead of performing on stage I ran the shows. I lit them, was the stage manager ensuring that everyone was on stage and ready on time, I ran the light board and the sound board. However it was also the early 1980’s and funding for the arts was at an all time low. A regular paycheck was hard to come by, although I always got paid eventually. The job was hard and after four years I quit, exhausted from long hours and low pay. But still, I am always grateful I had that job and that experience, it has served me well as a priest in charge of liturgy for Sunday mornings, funerals, weddings, baptisms…..

4. Your first time hosting. Again, construed broadly, this could be a dinner for the in-laws, your first time to have guests for a holiday meal, etc. I have no idea when my first time hosting some event was. I have hosted many events over my life time. But I guess one of the memorable firsts was the baptism party for our daughter. She was born twenty-five years ago TODAY. My husband, being a former Roman Catholic, insisted on a quick baptism. I was not a church-goer and so we had no church family. Nonetheless I enrolled us in the local RC baptism prep class and we had her baptized on a Saturday with about fifty other little babies. Following the baptism we had a celebration at our home. It was a small place but we managed to have a good meal and fun party. My husband and I have pulled off a lot of parties and always think of them as successful – good food, good company, a good time. Tonight we will have another small family party celebrating our daughter’s birthday. I will make bbq’d ribs, homemade potato salad, a salad of chopped tomato/cucumber/celery in a vinaigrette, corn on the cob, and for dessert – a made from scratch triple layer chocolate zucchini cake with cream cheese icing. 

5. Your first love.That can be a person or something else!! I’m married to my first real love. Sure, I dated before I met this man and thought that maybe I was in love. But I really wasn’t. I was too young and really had no sense of myself. How can you love another when you don’t even know how to properly love yourself. By this I mean, love one’s own integrity, one’s own self-worth, one’s own true nature (instead of what society tells you to be or what parents project onto you?)…So, this is my first real, mature love. It has grown stronger and better over the twenty-eight years of marriage and thirty years we have known one another. We are a team, partners in life. And, yeah, it has not always been easy. We have traveled a rough road together, each of us being a challenge to live with from time to time. Now, as we enter the phase of being partners in life with grown children, our marriage is taking some new turns. It’s a good place to be in.


About Terri C Pilarski

I am an Episcopal priest serving a delightfully progressive, interesting, creative congregation. I have been married more than half my life to the same man. We have two grown children, plus two dogs and two cats, although the number of four legged household members changes from time to time. I love to garden, knit, read, and play on Facebook or with my blog. I have been a practitioner of daily meditation since I was nineteen. I practice yoga five days a week and walk every where I am able too.
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4 Responses to Friday Five: Firsts

  1. RevAlli says:

    " Now, as we enter the phase of being partners in life with grown children, our marriage is taking some new turns. It's a good place to be in." Terri, this relationship echoes through your blog and I imagine through your life and ministry. I am glad for it.

  2. so many blessings… you will be one busy apron-clad lady today!! lucky latte and i are taking it a bit easy… i'm preparing to spend some time on that boat. 🙂 hoping, praying, trying to trust god that this time, yeah it's different already… love might just be in the air. real, lasting, abiding type of love…*cheers* to your baby girl!

  3. altar ego says:

    Love hearing about your firsts, and interesting to see how various threads from your life weave together. Happy Birthday to your fist girl!

  4. Mary Beth says:

    Happy birthday to your lovely daughter! Isn't it wonderful how all of our paths lead us to where we are meant to be??

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